All posts by stylecoachnyc


WHAT IF you woke up tomorrow, and had everything you’ve ever wanted… You’d probably be pretty happy, at least for a while. But very soon you’d start to realize that you want even more.

I’m sure there’s something you could think of right now, a person, experience or thing, that you could say “If I had that in my life, I would be happy and my life would be complete!” Well here’s the reality, once you get that thing you’ve been longing for, all that will do is make you want more. Once you have what you want, you’ll want something else. It’s a vicious cycle. There’s no such thing as having everything you want, it’s a bottomless pit. So, if you’re waiting to save up for that one special thing, waiting for that special someone to waltz into your life or waiting to get that special job, because you think THAT’s what’s going to make you happy… you can stop waiting.

Real happiness, long-lasting, non-temporary happiness, does NOT come from GETTING the things you WANT. Rather, it comes from being THANKFUL for the things you HAVE.

So here’s the good news… If you’ve always wanted to be happy but were never able to, try this: Take a second to think of 5 people who you are thankful for having in your life. Think of 5 experiences that you are thankful for having had. Take a second to really try this. When you’re feeling down, think of those people and experiences and feel grateful that they are/have been in your life. If you do this right, you will never be helplessly unhappy again…

Also, if you’re reading this, chances are it’s from a computer or smartphone; if you have access to a computer you’re in the top 22% of the population. About 50% of the WORLD, lives on less than $2.50 a day! That’s what we pay for a cup of coffee. We all have problems, sometimes big and sometimes small; but for some reason, when we put them in perspective, they can all seem relatively insignificant given what the world as a whole is going through. We are extremely lucky to have what we have. We Are.

So, I say, I’m GRATEFUL for my family, I’m GRATEFUL for my friends, I’m GRATEFUL that I have food to eat every day and a warm bed to sleep in. I am GRATEFUL for all of the opportunities that I’m given every single day to live out my life without worrying about when my next meal will be or where I will sleep tonight.

The next time your little brother it sister is bothering you, something goes wrong at work, or you want a new pair of shoes you can’t afford, remember… You have been BLESSED to be who you are and have what you have. BE GRATEFUL. You have a GIFT!

Share this on your wall if you’re GRATEFUL for having your FAMILY, your FRIENDS, and your LIFE!

Style Coach NYC - Men Fashion Advice

~ Being Fearless ~

Take a few minutes to read this; you won’t regret it.

Ever since I became a dating/relationship coach there’s a lot of different things that I’ve learned, but there’s one thing that really sticks out for me. Whether you’re trying to get a date, to start your own business, get a new job or really just about anything else, I feel like this is completely essential…

The willingness to be yourself and be yourself fully. The willingness to take intelligent risks and be fearless in the face of failure. Guess what… If you go up to that hot guy or girl you see on the street or at the bar, sure, they might completely blow you off. Or, if you want to start pursuing your passion, sure, there might be a chance that you will completely fail. Whatever else it is that you want to accomplish, it really doesn’t matter, the point is the same, you COULD fail.

You may go up to that hot guy/girl and s/he might reject you, but I would argue this… it’s just as likely that the two of you will have a great conversation, and who knows where it could go past that? And that passion that you’ve always had deep inside you, for that project or job that you’ve always wanted to pursue… Sure you could fail at it, but how do you KNOW you won’t be completely SUCCESSFUL at it!? The point is, that you DON’T!!!

You won’t EVER know how successful you will be at something until you TRY. And when you TRY, guess what, there’s a chance you will FAIL. And here’s the kicker, if you don’t ever TRY, it’s just like admitting to yourself that you’ve ALREADY FAILED!

So, I say, we’re better off changing our relationship to failure. To have a life, that’s completely amazing, unbelievably awesome, mind-blowing, incredible and everything that we’ve ever dreamed of… WELCOME FAILURE into your life… BUILD the COURAGE… TAKE the CHANCES… YOUR life CAN become EVERYTHING you’ve ALWAYS WANTED it to BE!

YOU CAN have the JOB you’re always WANTED.
YOU CAN live in the HOME you’ve always IMAGINED.
YOU CAN live a life where you feel BLESSED to be alive every single day, because EVERYTHING in your life is bring you CLOSER to FULFILLING on your DREAMS!

YOU CAN!… and YOU WILL FAIL at times. That’s inevitable. ANYONE who has ever done ANYTHING worthwhile has always failed tons of times before succeeding: It took Edison over 10 THOUSAND attempts to figure out how to make a light bulb work! Imagine if he gave up after the first 9,000 times he’d FAILED! Imagine how different our world would be right now!

Failing at something doesn’t mean anything about you and who you are. All it means is that you had what it took to get out there and stand for becoming the person that you always wanted to be.

From today forward, take 100% responsibility for your life; decide what you want and what you don’t want. DON’T SETTLE for LESS. You DESERVE EVERYTHING that you have EVER wanted; EVERYTHING you’ve always DREAMED of. You CAN achieve it. You CAN do it. There is NOTHING AT ALL stopping you–really stopping you–other than YOURSELF…

Now do note that I said take INTELLIGENT risks. Jumping in the middle of the street while there are cars running IS very risky but will not get you anything, except for maybe a trip to the hospital. Take risks in the things that actually have no REAL risk associated with them. The things that we just perceive as risky because there is some UNKNOWN. Trust me, there’s no REAL risk in you going up to that hot guy and introducing yourself. There’s no REAL risk in you asking a cute girl for her phone number. There’s no REAL risk in applying for or auditioning for that job that you’ve always wanted. Sure, you might be scared of it. Why? Because there’s a chance you could fail.

But guess WHAT… If you’ve EMBRACED failure into your LIFE and you’ve seen that each and every one of your FAILURES has led to a valuable LESSON that has contributed to your future, all of a sudden you’ve become completely UNSHAKABLE by any failures. You will be going through life CONSTANTLY going for what you want; any failure won’t even PHASE YOU! What you’ll find is that, more times than you might think, once you GO FOR IT, you’re actually going to GET what you WANTED…

It’s not always going to be easy, and I’m not saying that you will succeed after failing once. But so long as you keep at it, you keep trying and so long as you NEVER GIVE UP on YOURSELF or on YOUR DREAMS, YOU WILL SUCCEED!

Probably the MOST important thing I’ve realized through all of this is to be yourself. #BeYouBeTrue.

Under NO CIRCUMSTANCE should YOU EVER feel that you NEED TO BE someone else in order to please someone or society. Who YOU are is COMPLETELY AWESOME and COMPLETELY AMAZING! YOU are an amazing GIFT to the planet and YOU have something super-unique to offer that can only come from YOU. Who you are, at your deepest core is perfectly OK, perfectly beautiful and perfectly perfect. Be true to who you are. Live your life by your own rules. Be YOU in EVERY situation. And if people can’t deal with that, it’s on them! Don’t EVER change your LIFE or your DREAMS or your ASPIRATIONS just because you feel that you need to please somebody else or conform to a larger group.

YOU are YOU and YOU are COMPLETELY AWESOME, my friend.


Remember… “Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather, it’s the willingness to act in the face of fear.”

Now it’s time to go out there and blow the roof off of life!


Style Coach NYC - Men Fashion Advice


I feel like I just need to put this out there!

I’m not gonna lie, for the longest time I thought people from other cultures were really weird. My thoughts exactly were “How could anybody in their right mind possibly do anything like that!?” It took me until my freshman year of college, when I took Anthropology 1001, to realize that not everyone thinks and sees the world in the same way as I do. I know, it was a pretty revolutionary thought, at the time.

And then the idea that kicked over the bucket came in… Not only do people in different cultures see the world differently, but actually, each and every single one of us does. Now, this might seem obvious, but the implications of this are quite extraordinary… This means that every time I’ve gotten mad at someone in the past because I thought they were WRONG, they weren’t ACTUALLY wrong. They were simply not seeing the world MY way. And you know what, there’s NOTHING wrong with that!

I’m bringing this up because I feel like we live in a culture that doesn’t always welcome things or people that are different. Very often, we’re set in our ways and we believe that certain things should always be so. That a man should like a woman. That a woman should like a man. That someone should only be attracted to the opposite sex. That the color of our skin makes us somehow better or worse. That our sexual orientation is somehow wrong or right. That our physical characteristics somehow define what we are or what were capable of. I don’t think that’s the case.

I believe in full self-expression. There’s this guy in one of my classes that paints his nails, much like is common for a woman to. You know what, what’s wrong with that? What’s wrong with varying from ordinary? What’s wrong with being EXTRAordinary? I actually look up to that guy. Not because I necessarily see the world in the same way he does, but because he has the courage to express himself in a world that is too often cold and unwelcoming.

I feel like the world has made INCREDIBLE strides thanks to people like Nelson Mandela and MLK and things like the Woman’s movement; they’ve brought around more equality for all. But I DON’T think you should have to feel suppressed before you decide to fully express yourself and who you are!

What IF everyone walked around with their heart on the outside? What if we all wore clothing that was truly representative of who we are, and not just a trend or social influence? What if we accepted people for who they are, without judging them based on their religion, race, skin color, physical characteristics or sexual orientation? What if we looked deep in our beings and got in touch with the fact that at the core, every single one of us is a human being. Every single one of us wants to be loved. And every single one of us is special in their own way.

So I say, it doesn’t matter what the color of your skin is; it doesn’t matter what your gender is; it doesn’t matter if you like boys, girls or both; it doesn’t matter if you choose to do something that’s different that’s not the norm; however “different” you may feel, it doesn’t matter: YOU are LOVED.

There is enough LOVE within each and every one of us, for us to be accepting to one another and welcoming of each others’ differences. Let’s make away with negative judgments and start complimenting each other for the things that make us so unique!

We are the future of this planet. Let’s create a world where we can be ourselves, be fully self-expressed and live free of judgment!!!

Peace and Love To All ☮♥

Sending My Love Out To Whoever Needs It

Style Coach NYC - Men Fashion Advice

#SpreadingTheLove #BeYouBeTrue #HonorYou

P.S. Check out this video; it sends a really powerful message:


“Fashion is an extension of your personality.”

Note: Although this style guide is designed for men’s fashion, women can benefit from this fashion guide too.



When it comes to creating your own style you really have a lot of freedom to do whatever you want with it. Funny enough, in my experience coaching men in NYC, that’s often what stops them. When you have so much freedom of so many different styles it’s very hard to pick which pair of pants best fit your style or what kind of jacket to get, given your sense of fashion. The elixir to having an extraordinary sense of style / fashion is to get really clear on what it is that you want to represent with your style.

This article will help you identify your style and what kind of vibe you want to project. Once you’re really clear on what you want to project, you can check out Part 2 – Visualizing Your Style.



Generally speaking, you want to portray the image of an attractive, successful, and confident man. (You could go through all this trouble to try and portray the exact style of a hobo, but I don’t think that would get you very far ) Rather, to help identify your style, start thinking about what kind of persona best fits your style. Here are some examples of possible personas or “identities” you could portray:

~ Cool Geek ~

Examples: Toby MacGuire, Daniel Radcliffe

~ Bad Boy ~

Examples: Dennis Rodman, Collin Farrel

~ Club Owner/High Roller ~

Examples: George Clooney, Mark Cuban

~ Jock ~

Examples: David Beckham, Tom Brady

~ Zen Master ~

Examples: Matthew Mcconaughey, Bono

~ Rock Star / Artist ~

Examples: Tommy Lee, Johnny Depp

~ Party Guy ~

Examples: Russell Brand, Charlie Sheen

~ Comedian ~

Examples: Vince Vaughn, Dane Cook



You don’t have to restrict yourself to only one personality nor do you have to stay within the boundaries of this list. There are really an endless amount of personalities you could portray. Feel free to create your own too! Have fun with this and be creative.

One way that I’ve found makes it really easy to select a style is based on characters from movies. If you see a character that embodies similar characteristics as you do, look at how that character dresses. You can use that as inspiration and to begin creating your style.

Note: Later in this style article I included how I created my own style based on the archetypes listed above.



Regardless of the style archetype(s) you choose, the most important thing to remember is that you always want a successful, confident, and attractive air to shine through your style. An easy way to do this is to add a powerful adjective before your archetype. For example, instead of just “Lawyer”, you could say “High-Powered Lawyer”, instead of just “DJ” you could say ” World-Famous DJ”. Framing your identity in this way will steer you on the direction of making your personality appear as attractive, confident and successful as possible. Which is exactly what you want whether you’re looking to get better with women or be more successful in business.



Remember, one of the key things to focus on before you go any further  with picking your style, is to check in to see how well the personality you’ve chosen fits your own personality. If you’re a talented computer engineer who spends eight hours a day behind a computer screen, it’s going to be really incongruent for you to start dressing like a badass motorcyclist with a leather jacket. On the other hand of computers are your day job and yet one of your biggest passions outside of work is DJing and composing music, then there’s nothing wrong with portraying the DJ personality, maybe with a cool/intelligent engineer twist.



The goal in identifying your style is to portray your personality; many of us have multiple hobbies and do a variety of different things. You may feel that you are not projecting your personality fully if you only choose one identity. You may find that you want to pick two or more personality types and combine them to make a more unique sense of style for yourself. To make this easier to see in your mind’s eye, you can think of it as if you have two or three styles that you can either combine, or wear individually.



The three personalities from above that I chose to combine to create my style are:

Bad Boy

Artist/Rock Star

Club Owner/High-Roller


The way I balance these three, is that depending on where I’m going I might dress more in a casual bad boy/rock star kind of way or I might go more into the high roller direction.





(1) Artist/Rockstar

  • I play guitar. 
  • I enjoy going to rock concerts.
  • I love music and make my own songs.
  • I have always listened to rock music growing up.

(2) Bad Boy

  • I plan on riding a motorcycle one day.
  • I have a very straightforward and assertive way of being.
  • I like to do really crazy/fun stuff like cliff jumping, sky diving, riding roller coasters, etc.
  • (This personality fits in perfectly with the kind of Rockstar personality I like to portray.)

(3) Club Owner/High-Roller

  • I am an entrepreneur.
  • I plan on running my own business.
  • I go to very classy NYC club environments.

As you can see there are specific reasons as to why I chose each of these as part of my style personality. I took into consideration the environments that I frequent, what I am currently doing, as well as what I plan to do in the near future.

Important Note: If I had a desk job where I had to wear a suit and tie every day, and I didn’t include that in any way into any of my style identities, then my fashion would be lacking in that area.

I would highly suggest combining two or three different identities. You want to be specific in what you’re projecting, and you also want to have some range of casual/classy wear. Your wardrobe should be able to cover most (if not all) of the activities you take part in.



Depending on the occasion I may choose to project more of one personality or another. Let’s say I’m going to a rock concert, that’s the kind of personality I would want to portray. On the other hand, if I’m going out to a high class club in New York City, I might sway all the way to my High-Roller persona/wardrobe.

Naturally, I will also combine them at times when I want to display a bit of both qualities. Let’s say I’m going to a semi-formal family event, I might wear a dress shirt, with some nice designer jeans, some rock n’ roll biker boots and a nice pair of raybans. Even though I’m combining pieces from both personalities, it can really work out if you balance it correctly and shop right. This really depends on your fashion / wardrobe “Flow” which will be covered in future articles.



The last part to this section is to choose 5 – 10 terms/adjectives that best describe the qualities of the identities you’ve chosen and the qualities that you want to project with your style.

Below are the terms/adjectives that I came up with. In order to make it easier for myself I combined the artist/rockstar and bad body personalities together. Also note that I put terms/adjectives that kind of fit in with one another, next to each other.

Here are the list of terms/adjectives I want to project for each personality:

High Roller

  • Idol / Celebrity
  • Famous / VIP
  • Owner / Boss
  • High-Status
  • Wealthy

Badass Rockstar

  • Bold / Confident / Independent
  • Pornstar / Rockstar
  • Intimindating
  • Risk Taker
  • Sexy



Once you’ve identified your style (picked the personality(ies) you want to project, and you have your 5-10 adjectives to describe them) you can move on to Part 2 – Visualizing Your Style.